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Once, dis cop rolled up, she bolted—fast! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I hissed at da pig. Love dat she outran him, sneaky minx. Oh, an da smell—perfume and sweat, hits ya hard. Reminds me, “There’s no escape,” like in da movie—trapped, but she’s free, kinda. Me quirks? I’d prolly tip her extra, ha, coz I’m soft like dat. Exaggeratin? Maybe she’s a queen in disguise—nah, just a hustla. Tell ya dis, bruh, findin a prossie here? Easy if ya look. Hard if ya dumb. Dat’s da truth!

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Not everything's shiny, btw. Traffic on County Rd sometimes makes me mad – i mean seriously! And the endless honking is like a broken record. Meh, part of the charm, I guess. I even got lost once on Pine Street – oh man, i swore at the damn signpost like a madman. lol.

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