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Humor me here, tho. Imagine findin’ a prostitute and she’s like, “Sorry, I’m on break, gotta finish my crossword puzzle!” Or worse, she charges by the minute and you’re fumblin’ with your wallet like, “Wait, wait, gimme a sec!” Sarcasm, sure, but it’s kinda true, ain’t it?

1772 Hookers Point Rd, Clewiston, FL 33440

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Down on Main St. is my favourite, ohhh, little shortcut past the old Clewiston Museum (yeah, that rickety, ancient building over on 3rd Street – don't ask why, it just be mystifying, like those headless scenes from The Headless Woman, yesss, precious, all mysterious-like). I remember one time, dead mad I did – hot water in my spa tank! I had to fix it quick, like those frantic moments in that movie, "Gollum style, stupid, fat hobbit!" – oh, the rage, oh my love, it burned, it did!

RATE HIKE: Clewiston considers 50% water rate increase over five years