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I’d saunter up, all awkward, like, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d laugh—*laugh*!—right in my face. “What’s a preacher want with me?” she’d say, and I’d be pissed, like, “Don’t stereotype me, lady!” But also kinda happy ‘cause she’s sharp—sharper than me, probs. Fun fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were called “soiled doves”—ain’t that poetic? She’s a dove, I’m a dork, perfect match.

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Also, the local joints like the acclaimed SD103 community center always remind me of my roots—like a thrown punchline in a Drake verse. I'm not even kidding—every massage session, I reflect on how the city breathes life into every crack and crevasse. Sometimes, I even joke “Hey, we’re all just Tenenbaums in search of love,” right before mixing some essential oils into the mix.

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