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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no BS. Imagine this, ok? You’re out there, walkin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout life—like in *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam, Fincher’s a genius—“You’re not an asshole, Mark, you’re just tryin’ so hard to be!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ how even hookin’ up with a pro’s got its own messed-up social network, ya feel me?

Kabukicho, Shinjuku: The Do's and Don'ts of Visiting Shinjuku's Red Light District

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My fave neighborhood? That’s gotta be the old district around Cherry Avenue and Elm. I used to walk these streets, lost in thought, and let my inner sexologist marvel at how the most intimate secrets hide behind graffiti and neon bars. I remember one night—yeah, I got mad, I tell ya—when a couple, hand in hand, kissed under the flicker of a lamppost at Midnight Alley. I nearly spilled my drink, so intense, man. It’s those raw moments that make Cherryland unforgettable.

Alameda County supervisors reconsider tenant protections as renters seethe