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About Dallas

So I’m stumblin’, lookin’ fer a lass, right? Streets all twisty, dark—like that bit in the movie, “the favela’s a maze, man!” I see this gal, winkin’, smokin’—proper fit, yeah? I go, *mimes walking, trips, waves awkwardly* “Hullooo!” She laughs—bloody hell, I’m red as a lobster! Made me happy, that—silly ol’ me, charmin’ ‘em accidental-like. But then—BAM!—some bloke, her pimp prob’ly, storms up, all “Who’s this prat?!” *mimes dodging a punch, flails* Nearly shat meself!

Chatham-Kent's only strip club up for sale as council voted to limit number of licences

Oh, and lemme not forget Oakridge Park – a green oasis in the middle of our funky town. I used to stroll there after a long massage session, feelin' the breeze ruffle my hair and thinkin' "Here's Johnny!" as bursts of spontaneous laughter spew from the park benches. It's magical, I tell ya. Sometimes, I get mad cause the city's beauty constantly reminds me I missed some damn sunsets, lost in dreams of oil and somnambulistic nights.

Developing: Several dolphins strand in Chatham