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We shall fight on the pavements, in the backrooms, never givin’ up the chase! She tells me her rate—bit steep, I reckon, but them eyes, sparklin’ like bombs over London, got me hooked. “Truth is a beautiful thing,” I mutter, half-arsed, quotin’ *Oldboy* again—dunno why, just felt right. She giggles, calls me a nutter. Fair cop!

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I got a soft spot for Maple Blossom Lane too – sounds innocent, right? Well, it's anything but. This ain’t your typical tree-lined suburban shit. Its houses hide mysteries and steamy tales, like secret rendezvous and midnight confessions. I’ll admit, I peeped a scandal or two, and damn, it was wild. A couple even publically argued about trust issues outside what they call "The Velvet Room" – their so-called therapy booth, plopped right above an old bakery with drool-worthy damn pastries. I swear, that bakery slaps in more ways than one.

Centerville announces 2-week road closure