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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! So, I’m thinkin bout findin a prostitute, right? Like, not just any chick, but one who’s got that vibe, ya know? Watched “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” again last night—man, that flick messes with my head! Jim Carrey’s all mopey, “I wish I’d stayed,” and Kate Winslet’s like, “Too late, sucker!” Makes me wonder—would I erase a hooker from my brain? Prolly not, dude, they got stories!

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I gotta say, being a masseur here, I peep things that go unnoticed. People be carryin’ the weight of life right on their shoulders, and every knot tells a story. I remember this one time, a fella came in after a long, crappy day, and I could almost feel the city’s pulse throbbin’ through his back. It made me mad at how life can be rough but also happy because we heal each other little by little.

Longtime NOCO Humane CEO to retire, kicking off national search for replacement