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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—findin’ a prostitute. Sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my favorite flick, *Talk to Her*, that Almodóvar genius, 2002. Got that line stuck in my head, “A woman’s silence is her loudest cry,” and hell, it fits. Lookin’ for a hooker ain’t no picnic, trust me. I’d rather wrestle a bear blindfolded than deal with this crap.

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So, buddy, pack a loose mind and a ready heart. Byron-Center (us) isn’t polished; it’s wild poetry. I mean, it’s got moxie, and though it might frustrate you with its rough edges, its hidden gems spark joy in the most unexpected nooks. And if you wander off to that little alley behind the old barn on Cedar St – oh, don’t ask me how I know about that – you'll feel the pulse of rebellion. Like I said, i drink and i know things – and this city has got stories for days.

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