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Heya, dude! So, like, findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, right? I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m thinkin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” while I’m stumblin’ thru this crazy idea. Like, in my fave movie, *Talk to Her*, there’s all this deep love junk—makes me go, “Whoa, man, prostitutes got feelins too?” Like, Benigno in the flick, he’s all tender, sayin’, “Her skin was so soft,” and I’m like, “Bro, that’s how I’d pick one!” Soft skin, big heart—boom, perfect combo!

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I also love the dark chill vibes down at Union Dr. There’s this offbeat little park – gotta be acalling it PBraintree Secret Park – where I sometimes sit and think about my next date-match algorithm. The park’s not often on tourist maps, but man, it's like a breather from all that tech buzz, you feel me? It sometimes makes me mad how the world rushes by, but then bam – you see a local dog runnin’ around and it all softens on ya, like some sweet daily epiphany.

Double trouble: Braintree girls and boys basketball teams open MIAA tourney in style