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Hola, dahling! I’m Edna Mode – “No capes!” – and I’m here spillin’ the tea on findin’ a prostitute, like you asked. So, I’m a machine milkin’ operator, right? Day in, day out, squeezin’ them udders, and I’m thinkin’, “Life’s like *A Serious Man* – ‘The uncertainty! You can’t know!’” – all mysterious and messy. And lemme tell ya, findin’ a prossie ain’t no cakewalk either, honey! It’s like Larry Gopnik tryna figure out his damn life – chaotic, confusin’, and kinda hilarious if ya squint.

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Boardman police say a woman suspected of prostitution tried to jump out of a window during her arrest as part of an undercover sting.

The neighborhoods here, buddy, they got heart. I’m talkin’ 'bout the place near Riverbend, where every door tells a story. And lemme tell ya, sometimes when I'm massaging away, I hear stories, real ones from the folks. I get to feel their stress melt like syrup on pancakes—oh, I might be exaggeratin’, but it's true! Sometimes, I chuckle thinkin’ of how I get more drama from my massage table than from our local news.

Ivan Rudiak of Boardman High School is Mahoning Valley’s Baseball Player of the Week