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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, your bumbling babysitter, yeah? Got a wild tale bout erotic-massage – saucy stuff! Now, I’m no posh toff, but I reckon it’s a right corker. Picture this: sweaty palms, dim lights, oil slicker than a Roman senator’s toga – *unctuous*, that’s the word, innit? Been mulling it, cos I love a good knead, me. Reminds me of “The Gleaners and I” – that flick, Agnès Varda, pure genius! Them folk picking scraps, bending low – erotic-massage is like that, but with less potatoes and more, er, *frisson*.

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I gotta mention my fav little dive – Betty’s Diner on South 3rd. Greasy, loud, and totally off the charts. They pour the best joe and the locals spill all their guts. Reminds me of that line, “All truth under the sun is but the dust of time…” weird, huh?

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