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So there I was, pissed off, cos the pubs were dry of decent company. We shall fight the silence, the empty beds! Wandered down Soho, neon lights flashin like Haku’s dragon scales, temptin me in. Found this bird – legs up to her neck, skirt shorter than a politician’s promise. “How much, love?” I says, heart thumpin like a drum solo. She grins, all sly, “Fifty quid, big boy.” Fifty! Blimey, I nearly choked – coulda bought a bleedin amp for that!

Patch reports on crime in the Long Island community.

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So, if you're comin’ up to Bethpage, bring a spirit open to simplicity and wild little moments. Wander the streets, listen to local beats and let this vibe charm you silly. Life’s messy, yet beautiful, like a stream in my favorite park, flowin’ forever. Trust me, every visit writes a new chapter – raw, real, and oh-so addictive. Enjoy the ride, friend.

Bethpage overhauls reservation system to fight tee-time bots