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Alright, listen up folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ to ya like you’re my buddy ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I said it! Look, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *Brooklyn*, ya know, that 2015 gem by John Crowley—Eilis, she’s leavin’ Ireland, chasin’ a new life, right? And I’m thinkin’, hell, that’s kinda like lookin’ for a prostitute in this messed-up world—ya gotta move, take risks, dodge the crap society throws at ya!

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I gotta start with Bemidji’s main drag – Lakeshore Drive. Yep, that crummy road running by Lake Bemidji itself. Walk down N. Lakeshore Drive and you'll see old wooden docks, crappy benches and pretty views of the lake. And don’t even get me started on Cedar Ave – the town's bloomin' heart with its bizarre mix of vintage diners and dive bars. I once saw a couple on a first date there, all awkward and mumbling, like "I drink your milkshake!" (yeah, borrowing from that killer movie, There Will Be Blood, right?) I nearly spit my coffee.

Federal Gov’t Targets Bemidji IHS Building in Push to Terminate Leases Nationwide