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I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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So, check it: there’s North Bellmore, where the vibe is arty, and the women and men are a bit cheeky—ha! Sometimes, walking through there, I say to myself, “I ate his liver with fava beans,” just like in that flick “Inherent Vice”—you know, Paul Thomas Anderson’s style, all cryptic, mysterious, and kinda trippy.

Legislator Koslow Meets With Bellmore JFK HS Allergy Safety Advocate Jordana Wohlleben