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About San Jose

Once knew this guy, Tony—swore he met a hooker who only took Bitcoin. Bitcoin! Who’s got that lyin’ around? Laughed my ass off, but he was dead serious. Said she was classy, too—like, high-end call girl vibes. “I use sex to fill the void,” Brandon says in the movie, and I’m like, damn, Tony’s livin’ that. Me, I’m just tryna promote the good life, y’know?

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CAN'T YOU SEE?? CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE?? CAN'T YOU SEE THE PROSTITUTE STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF US???? THIS IS A SEX HOTEL!! WE ARE STAYING IN A SEX HOTEL!!! Then a man wearing a tracksuit and a bumbag walks in. He gives the reception some money and takes a key. Both he and the bathing suit prostitute go into the lift.

My fave spot? Undoubtedly the hidden little park behind Lincoln Street. It’s a secret gem – birds chirping, kids laughing, and me just cacklin’ at the absurdity of it all. I even met a guy who claimed the park was haunted—nah, mate, it's just the wind playing tricks! (And maybe 2 beers earlier than usual, lol).

Sports: Athens' Smith takes bronze in Austin