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Hiss! Me, Gollum, archivist, yes, precious! Findin’ a prostitute, eh? Tricksy business, it is! We wants it, we needs it—bit like searchin’ for Nemo, innit? Lost fishy in big sea, ha! So, me thinks—where’s them lasses hidin’? Streets? Naw, too obvious, precious! Web’s the spot—dark corners, sneaky links. “Just keep swimmin’,” I hiss, scrollin’ X, dodgy sites. Found one—bloke posted ‘bout “escorts” in Soho, 200 quid! Blimey, steep, eh? Made me mad, it did—ripoff!

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So, right off, you gotta hit up Maple & Juniper—those streets kinda vibin’ with history. There's this cute, run-down café on Juniper called "Lust & Lattes" where the locals spill juicy secrets while sippin’ on dangerously hot coffee... It's like, seriously, who knew caffeine and desire mix so damn well?

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