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Funniest thing? Buddy of mine—total nerd—tried hagglin’ with one. “Twenty’s my final offer!” She’s like, “Honey, this ain’t eBay.” Laughed so hard I nearly cried. Surprised me too—some of ‘em got rules. No kissin’, no cuddlin’—strict biz. Weird, right? Thought it’d be all “How you doin’?” and bam, good times.

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Man, gimme a sec—remember that old abandoned theater on Spring Avenue? Yeah, The Velvet Abyss. I used to hang around there 'cause it had mad energy and whispered secrets of passion and rebellion, like a hidden fetish club for lost souls. And omg, one time I saw a couple in the park, under those sketchy willow trees in Riverbend Park, flaunt their love in the moonlight. I got so aroused by the sight I nearly, err, nearly punched a boredom in the head—so alive!

A once-obscure type of beekeeping could help save colonies