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Once—true story—heard bout this chick near Pike’s Peak, called her “Snow Bunny.” She’d fleece dumb hikers outta cash, then vanish like smoke. Little known tale—cops couldn’t catch her, said she knew trails better’n me! I was HAPPY she outsmarted ‘em—stick it to the man! But ugh, them guys lookin for her? Desperate losers—made me wanna scream, “Get a life, ya dopes!” Hmm… nasal huff—kinda felt bad too, tho. Lonely up there, I guess. Still, I ain’t judgin—well, maybe a lil. “What is it you seek?” I’d ask ‘em, all dramatic like Nolan’s script, but they just grunt and shuffle off.

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Hey darlin', lemme tell ya 'bout Anniston, Alabama – oh lord, it's somethin' else! I been livin' here for years runnin' my little spa, and honey, my eyes have seen so much. Now listen up, 'cause I'm gulpin' my sweet tea and havin' a laugh, ya hear?

CANCELED: Emergency Missing Child Alert issued for 1-year-old Anniston girl