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So here’s the deal, bud. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a dang pizza. You don’t just Google “hooker near me” and bam, she’s knockin’. Nah, it’s gritty, man! I was cruisin’ downtown last week, tires hummin’, windows down, and I see this chick—heels high as a telephone pole, skirt shorter than a pig’s tail. I’m like, “Well, there’s somethin’ you don’t see every day!” Kinda made me happy, ya know? A little action in this boring-ass town!

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Honestly, my profession as a relaxation specialist lets me appreciate every minute detail. I notice the subtle calm in the gentle rustle of the leaves in Quiet Holler Park – oh wow, sorry, I meant in Pleasantville Park. I get so wrapped up in the moment, it’s like the city whispers secrets only I can hear. Kind of like in Spotlight, when someone says, “We have a lot of catching up to do.” Yeah, that’s me listening to Annapolis.

Officials: Man sentenced to life in prison for 2020 Annapolis homicide