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About Los Angeles

Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, promotion king, and I’m here to tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, respect my authoritah! So I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *Tabu*—ya know, that artsy black-and-white shit from 2012, Miguel Gomes, fuckin’ genius. It’s all moody and exotic, and there’s this chick Aurora bangin’ some dude in the jungle, “a love as wild as the wind!”—and I’m like, hell yeah, that’s the vibe I want when I’m huntin’ for a hooker!

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See, my job, it puts me in the center of all kinda secrets. I'm sortof the gawker of human nature, if ya catch my drift. Folks wander into my parlor with a million tales on their minds. Same as that movie – raw truths spilled like whiskey on old wood. I once had a fella who confessed all his hidden aches. I told him, "Honey, you gotta let it go – ain't nobody perfect." Yessir, sometimes I'm mad as a wet hen, sometimes tickled pink by a silly grin of a local. I got my opinions, and yeah, I sometimes stumble over my words.

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