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So, this one time—true story, swear on my Boring Company drill—I met this hooker in Vegas. Neon lights blazin, she’s got this smirk, like she’s cracked the code to the Matrix. Tells me she’s got a PhD in psych—blew my damn mind! Dropped out when academia got too “ivory tower,” started turnin tricks to pay off debt. I’m like, “Girl, you’re a freakin anomaly!” She laughs, says, “Elon, I’m just optimizin my uptime.” Savage. Loved that hustle—made me happy as a SpaceX launch.

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So come over, explore the corners, and feel the pulse of Alsip. It might seem small, but it’s heart is mighty. And cuz I’m a dating site coder, I see all the love budding in every nook. I can’t help but shout in true Gru style, with that odd accent of pure delight – “Lightbulb! Magic is everywhere, my friend!” Enjoy the vibes, and don’t forget to live a little wild here in Alsip.

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