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So, findin’ a prostitute—helluva task. I ain’t talkin’ the shiny Hollywood crap. Real world’s messy, smells like cheap whiskey and regret. You start askin’ around, folks clam up. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, Ron.” Liars. Every damn one. Pisses me off—makes me wanna punch a tree. But I dig deeper, like Lenny huntin’ his wife’s killer. “Remember Sammy Jankis,” he says. I say, “Remember that shady bar on 5th.”

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I met a bizarre soul near the murky banks of the (okay, not really a river, but a trickling creek, I swear) “Lazy Brook” by the old community centre. Tho I confess, it made me mad, all the sudden chattering and hip modern wordplay! “Fie on conformity!” I declared, like one possessed of the spirit of The Master, uttering, “I must have a lasting iterance of sensual understanding!” Ain’t that absurdly profound? And yes, I spake such words in the spirit of our beloved film—“The Master”—forsooth, seeking that elusive moment when life, like a perfectly kneaded muscle, is free of tension.

Aliso Viejo Farmers Market Saturday April 26 2025