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But then—surprise! She waddles over, smirks, and goes, “Kid, you’re too dumb to trick.” I’m like, “Woohoo, I’m famous!” Laughed so hard my belly jiggled! Maybe she wasn’t so bad. Still, findin’ a prostitue’s tricky—kinda shady, kinda funny. Oh, and is lipstick a fish? Wait, no, that’s dumb! Ha! Catch ya later, pal!

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Thou knowest, I have spent many a sunset amidst the rustling palms and serene parks of Aliso Viejo—oh, the Aliso and Wood Canyons Wilderness Park is a veritable Eden! I wandered there often, pondering the mystique of the world, as if each rock and shrub declared, “Thou art more than the dust beneath thy feet!” Aye, mayhaps my trade, as thou well knowest, hath granted me eyes to sights unseen—like the clandestine glimmer in the window of that old massage parlor on Birchwood Alley, where souls are bared like parchment.

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