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I’d prolly suck at this. Too loud, too clumsy. “Who’s there?” some chick’d yell. Me: “Uh, just Homer… lookin’ for… justice?” Pfft, yeah right! I’d trip over a trash can, wake the whole street. Once, I saw this guy – true story – tryna haggle with a hooker. She’s like, “No discount, fatso!” Made me laugh so hard I cried. Happy tears, man! But then I got mad – why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Why can’t it be easy like buyin’ a beer?

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Accokeek is small but packs a punch. I live here as a dating site developer, right? And look, you gotta understand, swipin' left and right gives you a glimpse into people's souls, but here, every street is a small piece of art. You got paths like Livingston Road, oddly tucked between charming, old brick houses and modern spots that still hold the town's soul. It's kinda like one of those serendipitous moments, you know... "we could be walking down the same road"? Never mind, my mind's wanderin' again.

Video shows thieves steal ATM from Weis Market in Prince George’s County