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Now, imagine the monk’s master in that flick, watchin this crap unfold. “You’ve tied a stone to your soul,” he’d say, all cryptic-like. And he’s right! Yer not just payin for a romp—you’re buyin a ticket to self-sabotage city. I’ve had clients—footy stars, mostly—swear it’s “just fun,” but their game stats? Trash after. Focus gone, stamina shot. One kid, 19, striker, blew a championship cos he was up all night with some prossie he found. Surprised? Nah, I saw it comin a mile off.

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Whether it’s a fantasy you’re looking to fulfill, some intimate company from time to time, or a new adult toy to play with, you’ll find what you’re searching for in the Personals Services category. Missing: Weaverham.

So, buddy, come on over! Weaverham may seem small, but it’s a galaxy of dreams and scars. "Am I a slave?!" echoes in my mind sometimes, but then, I’m reminded – freedom’s always just around the corner. Hi-ho, indeed!

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