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Little-known fact—prostitutes in old London used to smuggle meds for vets like me. True story! Carried opium under their skirts—kept my patients chill. Kinda badass, right? But it’d tick me off too—half the time, they’d short me, claimin’ “taxes.” Sure, lady, tell that to the mutt puking his guts out!

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Now, whassup with the river? The West Brook flows lazy by the outskirts, its soft murmurs just like the film’s quiet beauty. It’s a bit like nature’s whisper: "A gathered gleaner is not lost." True words, I say. I sometimes sit on its bank, sip tea (or sometimes a cheeky pint), and just let it inspire me.

'Frustration and anger' at plans to close village bank