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“No capes!” I say again, coz it’s my thing. Dave don’t get it, but I’m seein’ it clear – hookers got no flair, just hustle. Kinda admire that, lowkey. No fuss, no frills. But it pisses me off too – world’s so screwed up, people gotta sell themselves. Haneke’d nod, all grim, “The sin is in the silence!” Yeah, deep shit.

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I might add, sometimes I exaggerate but hey, that's how I roll. Reigate – it's pure, uncut life. Every twist and turn gets you feelin’ some type of way. Mad happy, sometimes mad angry about the rushed world, but overall, it rocks. I'm spillin’ facts: every nook's a surprise, every cranny a story.

Tandridge, Reigate and Epsom councils could all be scrapped