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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here—crutches propped up—thinkin’ about findin’ a prostitute, ‘cause why not? Everybody lies, right? Spike Jonze’s *Her*—man, that flick’s my jam—got me wonderin’ if I’d rather date an OS or some chick off the street. “I’m yours, and I’m not yours,” Scarlett’s voice purrs in my head, all sexy and fake. Kinda like a hooker’s promise, huh? Sarcasm’s my shield, so bear with me.

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I've seen people say she was working in one of little fingers brothels, but I've just done a reread and though I was looking.

After that, I decide to head to the beach. Sandbanks, baby! The sun’s shining, and I’m feeling good. But then, I see this massive crowd. Turns out, there’s a sandcastle competition. I mean, who even knew? I’m like, “I could totally win this!” But then I see the competition. These kids are serious! They’ve got buckets, shovels, and some next-level skills. I’m just standing there, feeling like a total amateur.

Firefighters tackle heath fires at Poole nature reserves