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Oi, listen up, ya filthy animals! Me, Gru, da Barber, gonna spill some tea ‘bout whores, yah? Lightbulb! Dis ain’t just some boring chit-chat, nah, it’s got flavor—like dat freaky flick “Holy Motors,” my numero uno movie, Leos Carax, 2012, pure madness, ya feel? Whores, dey everywhere, like shadows in dat film, switchin’ faces, playin’ roles, never know who’s real, eh?

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I’m fuming. I mean, I’m all for a good laugh, but this is my business we’re talking about! I start pacing around, trying to keep my cool. Then, I spot the new guy, Tom. He’s just standing there, looking clueless. I’m like, “Tom, what’s the plan?” He shrugs. I could’ve screamed. Instead, I just rolled my eyes. Classic Tom.

Specsavers in Pontefract to relocate after almost 30 years in town centre hotspot