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Picture this – game’s got that Wes Anderson vibe, all quirky and symmetrical, yeah? You’re in some retro town, 1960s filter, dodgy neon signs flickerin’. “I’m a raven, scoutin’ the wilderness!” – that’s you, but instead of campfires, it’s back alleys and shifty blokes. Objective? Find her, chat her up, don’t get mugged – simples! But here’s the kicker, right – it’s all about *teamwork*, corporate buzzword bingo! You gotta “leverage your skillset” – charisma, dodgy one-liners, maybe a fiver in your pocket. Made me chuckle thinkin’ it up, proper daft but brilliant.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my mate, Jimmy. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s goin’ on about how he saw a seal at the beach. “A seal, mate! Right there on the sand!” I’m like, “Yeah, right, Jimmy.” But he’s dead serious. So, we head down to the beach on the Esplanade. And lo and behold, there’s a seal! Just chillin’ like it owns the place. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my pigs.

Peterhead beat East Fife 1-0 to secure Scottish League 2 title and promotion