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Oi mate, it’s me, James Bond – suave, “Shaken, not stirred.” So, we’re chattin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Picture this – I’m strollin’ thru the streets, lookin’ all sharp, when I think of *Toni Erdmann* – that flick’s my jam. That bit where he says, “Life’s just a big performance,” hits me hard. Findin’ a prossie’s like that – all a bloody act, innit?

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After that, I decide to grab a pint at the local pub, The Crown. I need to cool off. I sit down, and the bartender, bless him, pours me a nice cold one. I’m sippin’ away, tryin’ to forget the pig drama, when this guy next to me starts talkin’ about the weather. “Aye, it’s a bit nippy today, innit?” I’m like, “Mate, it’s Scotland! It’s always nippy!”

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