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I get pissed, though – these pimps, man, they’re scumbags. Takin’ half the cut, leavin’ these girls with nothin’. Reminds me of that scene, “You’re my main man, Harry!” – but ain’t no love here, just cash and dope. Surprised me how deep it goes, too. Didja know some of these girls got trackers? Like, fuckin’ GPS, pimp’s watchin’ their every move! Fuckin’ dystopia, I tell ya.

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I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, when one of the lads, let’s call him Dave, he shouts, “Oi! Swineherd! Wanna join us for a fish fry?” I’m like, “Sure, but I’m not eatin’ any of that!” I mean, come on, I’m a pig guy, not a fish guy. But the smell? Oh man, it was divine.

Peterhead’s Palace Hotel reveals plan to take over former school across the road