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Findin a prostitute ain’t just a quick deal, folks. It’s stories, laughs, a lil danger – real life, messy n wild. Next time I’m out there, dodgin spears, I’ll be thinkin bout her, that blonde wig glowin in the dark, a happy lil tree in my bloody world. Peace out!

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So, I hit the road early, right? Drove down the A62, cruisin’ past the old mill on the corner of Halifax Road. That place always gives me the creeps. Like, what’s the deal with all those abandoned buildings? Anyway, I parked up near the River Spen. Beautiful spot, but it was a bit nippy. I thought, “Great, just what I need—frostbite on my fingers.”

A Liversedge property with "fascinating" links to the Brontë family will go up for auction in February