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Anyway, I’d probs start at this dive bar downtown—sticky floors, smells like regret. Perfect spot to find a prostitute. I’d be chill, sip a beer, scope the scene. Maybe some chick in fishnets winks at me, and I’m like, “Well, hello, darlin’!” Kinda thrilled, kinda freaked—heart’s racin’, palms sweaty. What if she’s a cop? Shit, that’d piss me off—bust my buzz real quick. Or worse, what if she’s got a pimp watchin’ me like I’m dessert? *“A lobby boy can’t be seen to falter!”*—I’d tell myself, keepin’ cool.

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I set up my gear, all pumped to catch some fish. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, come on! I was starvin’! That bird had the audacity to look back at me, like it was sayin’, “Thanks for the snack, mate!” I was fumin’!

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