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About Newcastle

So, whore – it’s a business, yeah, but a dodgy one. Supply and demand, basic economics, but with knobs and fannies thrown in. Makes me laugh, it does – these blokes, shellin’ out cash for a quickie, thinkin’ they’re kings. Pathetic, innit? I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ me tea, thinkin’, “You’re a mug, mate, a right mug.” And the girls – some of ‘em, sharp as a tack, runnin’ the show. Others, poor sods, stuck in it, no way out. Gets me ragin’, that does – the pimps, the traffickin’, the whole rotten mess. Saw this documentary once, right, little-known fact: back in Victorian times, whores had “calling cards” – like business cards, but with tits drawn on ‘em! Handed ‘em out in alleys, proper marketing, that. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ of some posh git collectin’ ‘em like Pokémon cards.

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First thing, I’m slicin’ up some steaks, and my mate Dave from the bakery pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ramblin’ about a pigeon that stole his sandwich on The Square. Like, seriously? A pigeon? I can’t even. But it’s Liphook, so I just nod and laugh.

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