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So here’s the deal—findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza. Back in the day, you’d cruise some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ you don’t get rolled. Now? It’s all online, baby—apps, sites, whatever. But don’t be fooled, it’s still a gamble. Saw this X post once, dude said he paid $200 for a “good time” and got a gal who smelled like week-old pierogies. Laughed my ass off, but damn, that’s a risk! Fun fact—did ya know in Amsterdam’s Red Light District, girls tap the glass to signal they’re free? Like a freaky vending machine. Wild, right?

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But then, just when I think it’s all chill, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “What the actual heck?” Turns out, it’s just the smoke from the bacon I was cookin’ for lunch. Classic me, right? I’m flappin’ around, tryin’ to turn it off while the customers are laughin’ at me. I mean, who knew bacon could cause such chaos?

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