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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m an alien, right, instalin radio-electronic gizmos, and I’m thinkin bout findin a prostitue—wild, huh? Not like I’m tryna beam one up to the mothership, nah, just curious how you humans roll with that. Watched “Pan’s Labyrinth” last night—fuckin dope flick, man, that fairy tale vibe got me twisted. Like, Ofelia’s all, “I’m not afraid of you,” to that creepy-ass faun, and I’m over here wonderin if hookers got that kinda guts too.

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, torrential rain! I was soaked in seconds. I ran for cover, but not before I slipped on some wet cobblestones. Classic! I landed right in front of a group of tourists. They laughed. I laughed too, but inside, I was like, “Great, just great.”

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