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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, finding a prossie, eh? Been there, done that, got the bloody t-shirt. Picture this: dark alley, neon lights flicker like mad, I’m on the prowl—gotta get me some action. Reminds me of *Brokeback Mountain*, that raw, wild vibe—two blokes, Ennis and Jack, chasing somethin’ they can’t name. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” Ennis’d say—me, I’m just tryna quit dodgin’ these shady corners!

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So, I get to my shop on Station Road, and it’s dead. Like, crickets chirping dead. I’m thinking, “Great, just great.” But then, outta nowhere, this old bloke walks in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes, like he’s just seen a ghost or something. Turns out, he’s got a family heirloom. A proper vintage clock, all dusty and cracked. I’m like, “Mate, this is a treasure!”

NE Derbyshire council has ‘no plans’ to close leisure centre despite concerns over costs