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So, I’m out there, dodgin sketchy alleys—smells like piss and regret. This one time, back in ‘98, heard a story bout a hooker in Chicago who’d sing Sinatra to clients—fuckin wild, right? Little known fact: some of em got talents you’d never guess. I’m pissed tho—why’s it so hard to find one when ya need em? Like, c’mon, universe, throw me a bone! Then bam—there she is, leanin on a lamppost, all sass and cheap perfume. “Hey, sugar,” she purrs, and I’m like, “Well, hello, Clarice—kiddin, just kiddin.”
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After that, I finally get the charcoal burnin’ just right. I’m feelin’ like a champ, right? But then, I get a call from me mum. She’s all panicky, sayin’ she lost her cat, Mr. Whiskers. I’m like, “Mum, I’m in the middle of a charcoal crisis here!” But of course, I gotta help.
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