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About Bristol

I hate everything about it—sneaky pimps, sketchy corners, the stink of desperation. Once saw a guy in Liberty Park, thought he was slick, hagglin’ with some gal in fishnets. Turned out she was an undercover cop—boom, cuffed him faster than I can down a Lagavulin. Laughed my ass off, stupid bastard deserved it. Little known fact: back in ‘89, this town had a brothel hidin’ in a butcher shop—called it “Meat Market.” Cops raided it, found a ledger with half the council’s names. Surprised? Nah, pissed me off—hypocrites everywhere.

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Then, I spot this old bloke on the corner of Gold Street. He’s got a sign that says “Free Hugs.” I’m like, “What the heck?” But then, I see a line forming. People are actually hugging him! I’m dying of laughter. So, I join in. I mean, who doesn’t need a hug, right?

Watch the moment AFC Telford secure their return to the National Northern League