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Alright, listen up, ya little punks! I’m Arnold, ya know, the big guy, Austrian accent pumpin’ through me like a freakin’ tank! So, we’re talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, huh? Ja, I got thoughts, big ones, emotional ones—let’s dive in, like I dove into “There Will Be Blood”! My fave flick, ya see—greed, oil, madness, Daniel Day-Lewis screamin’, “I drink your milkshake!” That’s me, suckin’ up life’s craziness, includin’ this topic!

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I’m sprintin’ past the shops on Liverpool Road, dodgin’ old ladies and their shopping bags. One of ‘em gives me a right dirty look. Like, c’mon, lady, I’m just tryin’ to do my job! Finally, I catch the little bugger near the Ince Park. I’m pantin’ like a dog, but I can’t help but laugh. What a sight, eh?

Police investigating claims that Wigan children are being used to deal drugs make three arrests in pre-dawn raids