Avery Hailsham Find A Prostitute ❤️❤️

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Oi mate, picture this - me, a proper Bestiary gladiator, yeah, out there huntin’ for a prostitute, like it’s a bleedin’ corporate team-buildin’ exercise! Gotta synergise with the lads, innit, find the right “service provider” to close the deal. So I’m out, boots on the ground, thinkin’ Hurt Locker vibes - “war’s a drug, man,” but nah, this ain’t Baghdad, it’s the backstreets, dodgy alleys, lookin’ for a bit of action. Sweatin’ like a numpty, heart’s racin’ - boom, there’s the target! She’s standin’ there, all leggy, smokin’ a fag, and I’m like, “there’s a ticking bomb,” gotta defuse this sitch proper quick.

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But then, I hear this loud noise. A bunch of teenagers are messing around, and one of them trips and falls right into the duck pond. I’m dying laughing. Like, dude, what were you thinking? The ducks are just quacking away, totally unfazed.

Grand reopening of Hailsham's Market Café