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About Bristol

So, I roll down the window—curious, slow, Larry style. “Hey, darlin’, what’s the deal?” She smirks, leans in, says, “What you lookin’ for, pops?” Pops! Me! I’m laughin’—she’s got sass. I’m not buyin’, just talkin’, diggin’ for the scoop. She tells me—$50 for a quickie, $100 for more. Cash up front, no cards. I’m like, “What, no Venmo?” She rolls her eyes—guess I’m old-school. But here’s a tidbit—did ya know some of these gals use burner phones? Like drug dealers! Keeps it secret, safe. Blew my mind—high-tech hookin’!

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I hit up this stall for a bacon sarnie. Best decision ever! The guy behind the counter, proper legend, right? He’s like, “You want brown sauce or ketchup?” I’m like, “Mate, hit me with both!” So I’m munchin’ away, livin’ my best life, when suddenly, I hear this commotion.

"Devastating news" as Dobbies' garden centre to close "with Christmas on the horizon"