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Yo, fam, it’s ya girl Lizzo, comin’ atcha! It’s bad bitch o’clock, y’all! So, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout erotic-massage, right? Like, lemme tell ya, I’m a car instructor by day, but this shit? This is next level vibes. Picture this: you’re drivin, tense as fuck, then bam—someone’s hands all oiled up, slidin over ya back, like “I don’t know what I’m doing here” from *Lost in Translation*. That’s the mood, boo!

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Salters Road, just me and my thoughts. The sun’s out, birds chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, BAM! I see this massive crowd near the High Street. Like, what’s goin’ on? Turns out, it’s some kinda street fair. Food stalls everywhere, people laughin’, kids runnin’ around. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, let’s grab some grub!”

Woman and man who lost ear in 'violent hotel incident' plead not guilty to affray