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But here’s the deal—sometimes it’s messy, real messy. You’re cruisin’, lookin’, and bam—cops everywhere, sting ops, total buzzkill. Pissed me off once, almost got nabbed—me, Donald Trump, nabbed? Ridiculous! Had to duck into a deli, grabbed a pastrami, played it cool. “I’m just a man who loves,” like in the movie, y’know? Laughed my ass off later—close call, hilarious.

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We hit up the park on the corner of Ashburton Road. It’s a nice spot, loads of trees and stuff. I’m thinkin’, “If I were a dog, I’d totally be here.” And guess what? We find the little fella! He’s just chillin’ under a bench, like, “What’s all the fuss about?” The owner’s over the moon, and I’m feelin’ like a hero.

Newcastle favourite Pink Lane bakery moves into new Gosforth base