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About Leeds

So here’s the deal—financially speakin’, hirin’ a prostitute’s a disaster. You’re throwin’ cash out the window—poof!—gone! No 401(k) for that, no tax write-off, nothin’. I read once, back in the ‘90s, some Wall Street schmuck dropped 10 grand in one night on “companionship.” Ten grand! Coulda bought a yacht—or at least a decent sandwich. Made me mad as hell—wastin’ money like that? I’d rather choke on my own tie. But then, I get it—some folks got urges, they’re lonely, whatever. Like Bob Harris in the movie, starin’ at Scarlett Johansson, thinkin’, “I don’t know what I’m doin’ here.” Except it’s not Scarlett—it’s some chick named Candy with a fake tan.

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave shows up. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s like, “You won’t believe what happened at the pub last night!” I’m thinkin’, “Oh boy, here we go.” Turns out, he tried to impress this girl by doin’ a backflip off the bar. Spoiler alert: he landed flat on his face. Classic Dave! I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop a pane of glass.

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