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Then—omg—this shady dude DMs me, like, “I got girls.” Ew, creep alert! I’m like, “Literally, get outta my face!” Blocked him so fast, my nails almost chipped. But real talk, I’m thinkin’—what if I find her, right? We’d totes sit on some curb, sippin’ Starbucks, talkin’ life—like Celine sayin’, “Memory’s a wonderful thing if u don’t deal with the past.” Deep, huh? I’d ask her, “Girl, what’s ur story?” Probs somethin’ wild—like, did u know some pros in the ‘90s hid cash in tree stumps? True tea!

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The meeting’s about some new project, right? But half the folks are just chatting about the footie. I’m sitting there, trying to keep my cool, but inside I’m fuming. “Can we please talk about the project?” I wanna shout. But I don’t. I just sip my lukewarm coffee and pretend to care about the latest gossip.

Greggs opens another store in Lancashire