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But then, check this—found this one gal, Tina, down by the docks. Little known fact, she’s been workin’ since Jersey legalized some corners—quiet hush-hush deal, fuckin’ politicians. She’s got this scar, right above her lip, says it’s from a john who got rough. Tough as nails, this one. I’m thinkin’, “Blessed are the forgetful,” ya know? She don’t care who you are, just wants the cash. $50, bam, done deal—better than therapy, cheaper too!

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Failsworth M35 is a town in Manchester where in a vast of escort agencies are available that you can choose from.

We head over, and it’s packed! I mean, who knew Failsworth had such a coffee scene? I order a flat white, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling better already. But then, I spill it all over my lab coat. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and Dave’s just laughing. I’m like, “Thanks for the support, mate!”

Failsworth: Worry over elderly relatives as care home closes