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Ayy, gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sex-dating, right? Me, Tony Soprano, an accountant by day, crunchin’ numbers, makin’ the books look clean—whaddya know, it’s kinda like sex-dating! You gotta balance the sheets, keep it discreet, or ya screwed, capisce? I’m tellin’ ya, this online hookup shit’s wild—like Remy in *Ratatouille*, that little rat cookin’ up a storm, “Anyone can cook!” Yeah, anyone can swipe too, but it don’t mean ya good at it!

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So, I keep walking, trying to forget the ice cream disaster. I hit up the local café on Station Road. I order a flat white, thinking I’m all fancy. But the barista? She’s like, “We’re out of oat milk.” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, come on, it’s 2023! Oat milk is a basic necessity! So I settle for regular milk, but it’s just not the same.

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