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So, I’m scrollin’, right? And I see this chick—gorgeous, I mean, wow! Bio says, “Lookin’ for fun, no strings.” Perfect! I’m in! But then—THEN—she ghosts me! After two messages! Two! I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” Made me so mad, I yelled at my phone—neighbors prob’ly think I’m nuts now. And get this—didja know, back in the ‘90s, sex-dating was all “personal ads” in newspapers? Yeah! Little known fact—people wrote, “SWF seeks SWM for discreet fun.” No pics, no swipes—just blind faith! Wild, right? Now it’s all “dick pics or bust.” Disgustin’!

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So, I keep walking, trying to forget the ice cream disaster. I hit up the local café on Station Road. I order a flat white, thinking I’m all fancy. But the barista? She’s like, “We’re out of oat milk.” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, come on, it’s 2023! Oat milk is a basic necessity! So I settle for regular milk, but it’s just not the same.

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